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Why You Need to Fail HARD at Parenting

By Kira Lewis 5 Comments

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Yes, I know, we often feeling like we fail at parenting, sometimes many times a day. But what most of us don’t realize is that it’s not only okay, it’s necessary.  We not only need to fail, we need to fail HARD?

What kind of sleep deprived, mom brain B.S. is that you may be asking?

Listen, I know, one of the biggest fears that we all harbor deep down, whether we acknowledge it out loud or not, is the fear of failure. From the moment we are aware of their conception, almost every decision we make regarding our children is influenced by this fear.

Are you afraid of failing as a parent? The reality is, you already have, but you know what, it's okay? Why You need to fail at parenting and how it actually can help our children

This fear becomes the quiet voice that constantly whispers doubt into our ears.

It causes us to agonize for hours or even days over something as simple as cloth or disposable diapers.

It paralyzes us in the produce aisle pondering whether we should pay the extra $2 for organic apples.

It convinces us that every abnormal behavior our child exhibits is somehow our fault for letting them watch too much TV or not reading them enough bedtime stories or letting them stay up too late.

Perhaps I’m overdoing it a little, but am I really?

These specific examples may not apply to all parents, but we each have our own versions of ways in which we dissect our daily parental performance and grade ourselves too harshly.

I get it. None of us wants to screw up and be the cause of years of therapy for our children.

But you know what, it’s too late. What do I mean? I mean, IT’S. TOO. LATE. Not the therapy part, but the failure part. If you have kids, I guarantee you’ve failed, probably multiple times on a bad day.

However, here’s the secret…

It’s OKAY! Not only is it okay, it is necessary. And I think the sooner we come to that realization, the easier parenting becomes. Although, for many of us, it takes a few years or another child or two before that process begins.

So, what happens when we fail?

Often, absolutely nothing. At least in terms of what we fear. There is no permanent injury or serious mental anguish (at least to the child). The damage, if any, is usually quickly forgiven and forgotten.

In those rare cases when we fail in a really big way. Well, we suck it up, we own our mistakes, we apologize and do what we can to make it right. That’s life and in our failures we teach our children lessons that are equally, if not more important, than when we do things right.

The author Paulo Coelho said, “There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

Failure is a part of childhood, it’s a part of parenting, it’s a part of life. Our children are going to fail and their going to fail HARD sometimes. What we need to model for them is how to get back up, how to show grace and accept grace, and how to keep moving forward.

This is why we need to fail at parenting.Because through our failures we show our children how to conquer fear and how to follow their dreams. We show them how to fly.

Why You Need to Fail at Parenting

 

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Sometimes as moms we get overwhelmed, exhausted and just plain lost. We know things need to change, but we don't always know how or where to start. Believe it or not, it can be as easy as opening a book and before you know you'll find your life transformed one page at a time. 13 Books that will change your life (at least a little). SunshineandHurricanes.com

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Filed Under: Mom Life Tagged With: Inspiration for Moms, parenting

About Kira Lewis

Kira Lewis is a mom to a strong and sassy 8 year old girl and a funny, soccer playing teen boy.  Her career has included everything from corporate ladder climbing to teaching yoga. She's settled for now on free-lance writing and blogging where she covers topics like motherhood, parenting, technology, Florida travel and raising tweens and teens.Keep up with her parental musings by subscribing to sunshine and hurricane's weekly newsletter HERE.

You can also find her on social media:

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Comments

  1. Kri says

    January 11, 2016 at 12:14 pm

    So So SO true! I Love this post!

    Reply

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  1. Are You Guilty Of The Motherhood Disclaimer? says:
    September 24, 2017 at 11:34 am

    […] Why You Need To Fail At Parenting […]

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  2. The Startling Secret About That Perfect Mom - Sunshine and Hurricanes says:
    May 5, 2016 at 9:33 am

    […] Why You Need to Fail HARD at Parenting […]

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  3. What Some Dirty Old Men at Starbucks Taught Me About Parenting - Sunshine and Hurricanes says:
    February 12, 2016 at 5:57 pm

    […] Why You Need to Fail at Parenting […]

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