I’m sure you’ve been watching me awfully close. And I admit, I’ve broken a few parenting rules this year that may have you questioning my “Nice List” status. But I would like to address those head-on, Mr. Clause. Because–as a mother–feel I deserve a little slack. (Okay. A lot of slack).
Today I plead my case as to why you should strike through that “naughty” I see penciled beside my name.
Some rules were made to be broken. Here are five.
1) 3 Second Rule.
C’mon Santa. A big guy like you must understand. Maybe I fudged a little on the whole “three second” thing, but there are hungry mouths in my house! I mean, a little dirt never hurt anybody! It’s totally natural and boosts immunity. I am officially requesting an exemption to this broken rule. And if you disagree, I suggest you put that sugar cookie down.
2) Limiting Technology
I don’t know what you do with your elves the other 51 weeks out of the year, but when summer rolls around and school lets out, I run out of entertaining ideas quick. And, well, child labor is frowned upon south of the North Pole. Since you can’t really relate to my plight, I’m requesting another exemption.
3.) Diet Schmiet
In theory, I really believe in the whole eating clean, organic, healthy, home cooked…that whole thing. But when I’ve been up since 4:30, played taxi, paid bills, cleaned the house, and ravaged Publix–those Golden Arches look like the golden gates. And you know what? I’ve seen your waistline. Pretty sure you get it.
4.) Bribery is bad.
I admit it’s wrong. There is no justification for my bribery other than the fact I’m lazy, er. tired. Whatever. If giving my child an hour of screen time buys me a quiet home, it’s a worthy investment. And honestly, if this lands me on your Naughty List you are a big, fat hypocrite. Presents for the Nice list? I rest my case.
5) The Great Escape
Maybe I left the kids at home with Dad so I could “run to Target”. And maybe I drove the scenic route while listening to Taylor Swift’s entire new album. It’s just sometimes mommy needs quiet time. And by quiet I mean “completely alone with the radio blasting and the windows down” time.
I did actually go to Target. So there’s that.
We mamas aren’t perfect. And maybe our little offenses are lump-of-coal worthy. But what you really should consider before your list is finalized is this:
Mamas have children. And children keep you in business. So your livelihood is dependent on us, whether you like it or not.
So take that pen, scribble through the”naughty” and let’s pretend this conversation never happened.
P.S. A Target gift card, a pedicure, and a tropical vacation would be nice.
If you liked this post, we’re sure that you would also love reading:
How Motherhood is Like Being a Navy SEAL
8 Ways Your Toddler is Like a Sociopath
(Thank you so much to our friend Mary Katherine from Mom Babble for this fun guest post. She writes with several other moms at the Mom Babble Community, a place where moms can just be moms and find acceptance, joy and comfort together sharing their life experiences. Check out more of her posts at Mom Babble or Follow Them on Facebook HERE)
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