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8 Ways Your Toddler is Like a Sociopath

By Kira Lewis 5 Comments

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No It's Not Your Imagination. 8 Ways Your Toddler is Like a Sociopath. Parenting Humor - sunshineandhurricanes.com

8 Ways Your Toddler is Like a Sociopath

When my daughter was a toddler I was convinced she was progressively implementing a maniacal plot to drive me insane. Clearly, she had figured out, with me out of the picture, she could rule the household with ease watching Nick Jr until her brain cells were all completely depleted while she dined on an endless supply of puffs and ice cream.

I would ask her every morning what cereal she wanted for breakfast and then upon delivery she would screech and insist that she did not want “THAT” cereal. Then she would look up at me sweetly and smile, while simultaneously rolling her eyes (I thought they weren’t supposed to do that until they were teenagers!?). We would repeat this same scenario all day long with clothes, shoes, bags, toys, snacks…..it seemed to never end.

In addition to these “you did/I didn’t” decision making showdowns, she would attempt an entirely different form of mind game. She would repeatedly call “Mama” and when I would respond she just stared at me blankly.  By the third or fourth time, my voice would start becoming increasingly agitated. Still silence. At this point, I began to wonder if it was too soon to open a bottle a wine for the day. Really 9 a.m. is okay right, it’s the same thing as having a mimosa with brunch on Sunday?

I suspected her behavior was nothing out of the ordinary for a toddler considering this stage is commonly referred to as the ”terrible twos”. However, as I discovered other descriptors such as  ”the tyrannical twos” ”toddler terrorists” and “the only child maker” to name just a few, I couldn’t help but allow curiosity (and Google) to get the better of me.  I decided to  look up common traits of sociopaths and for those who are living in or lived through the toddler years, why don’t we acknowledge this all sounds a little too (disturbingly) familiar?

Top 8 Traits of Sociopaths:

1. Lack of Empathy
They often see other people as objects for their personal gratification.

2. Shallow Emotions
They may often put on short-lived, dramatic displays of emotion, such as fits of rage, only to quickly revert to a calm state moments later.

3. Lying and Manipulativeness
Completely indifferent to the possibility of being caught in a lie and when caught in a lie, they are rarely perplexed or embarrassed. Without hesitating, they will simply rework the tale so that the lie appears consistent.

4. Impulsivity and Irresponsibility
Impulsive by nature. They do not deeply recognize the risk of being caught, disbelieved or injured as a result of their behavior. They seek quick satisfaction and thrills. Their crimes are often spur-of-moment affairs.

5. Low Tolerance for Boredom
An excessive need for excitement and stimulation, frequently break rules, commit crimes, and risk their safety for the sake of cheap thrills

6. Poor Behavior Controls
Notorious for hair-trigger tempers, highly reactive to perceived insults and slights, and throw tantrums over trivialities

7. Remorselessness
Even when aware of the consequences, they frequently shrug off all responsibility for what happens to their victims and even to themselves and they often blame their victims for their crimes.

8. Egocentricity
They think they are the center of the universe and see themselves as superior beings.

Hey, I’m not calling our kids sociopaths.  But you know what they say, if the white jacket fits….:) Good luck Moms, and you will survive this phase, well at least I think so, just keep sharp objects out of reach and sleep with one eye open (you probably already do).

Do you have any stories to share about your toddler sociopaths? 

If you liked this you might also like:

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From a Soccer Mom to Her Little Boy

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Filed Under: Mom Life Tagged With: parenting, Parenting Humor, Toddler Behavior, Toddler Tantrums, Toddlers

About Kira Lewis

Kira Lewis is a mom to a strong and sassy 8 year old girl and a funny, soccer playing teen boy.  Her career has included everything from corporate ladder climbing to teaching yoga. She's settled for now on free-lance writing and blogging where she covers topics like motherhood, parenting, technology, Florida travel and raising tweens and teens.Keep up with her parental musings by subscribing to sunshine and hurricane's weekly newsletter HERE.

You can also find her on social media:

Facebook / Instagram / Twitter / Pinterest 

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Comments

  1. Venus says

    June 16, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    My nephew is like this. I know this is an old blog post…I’m hoping your daughter outgrew this so I know there is hope.

    Reply
  2. Tove Maren says

    May 20, 2015 at 6:12 am

    totally!!!! Especially the way they look at you sweetly – while rolling their eyes! “But I looooove you!” Is what I hear all the time!
    Great list!

    Reply
  3. Carolyn says

    May 19, 2015 at 9:11 pm

    This made me laugh. I too had similar experiences with my son.

    Reply
  4. Jenna @ A Savory Feast says

    May 19, 2015 at 8:55 pm

    Oh my goodness, this made my night! I’m a nanny for a two-year-old and she fits this description to a “T!” Your cereal story sounds like her latest thing. She does the eye roll, too!

    Reply

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    December 18, 2015 at 2:00 pm

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