New Year’s Resolutions…..
I am not sure what magic supposedly occurs the moment that mirror ball drops in Times Square that will suddenly add time to our day, allowing us to tackle those onerous tasks or even unfulfilled aspirations we don’t have time for the other 364 days of the year.
For this reason alone, I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I think moms are up against enough without that kind of pressure. However, I’m reconsidering my stance this year.
I’ve actually decided to approach this whole New Year’s resolutions thing from a different angle and I’ve come up with 15 Things I’m NOT Going To Do In The New Year.
Maybe that sounds a little less than positive, but hang with me here. I think one of our biggest issues as modern parents is that we try to DO too much, we try to BE too much and yes, sometimes we EXPECT a little too much from ourselves and even our children.
These are the 15 I came up with for myself. But take some time and as we get ready to turn the page to a New Year, think about some things you’re ready to let go of and make your own list.
1. I am NOT going to put other people’s happiness before my own health. If I’m not healthy then NOBODY in my family is going to be happy.
2. I am NOT going to allow those things that are not a priority to steal time away from things that are.
3. I am NOT going to read magazines or watch TV programs that make me feel bad about how I look or the state of my home.
4. I am NOT going to put my kids before my marriage. My kids are meant to leave someday, but he and I agreed we were in it together ‘til death do us part.
5. I’m NOT going to sign my children up for any new activities UNLESS we stop doing one that we’re already doing.
6. I’m NOT going to schedule something both days of every weekend.
7. I am NOT going to feel guilty when on occasion I order take-out, let my kids watch too much TV or heaven forbid I sit down and read a book or maybe even take a nap.
8. I am NOT going to regularly get less than 7 hours of sleep a night.
9. I am NOT going to do things for other people that they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves (occasional favors and thoughtful gestures excluded).
10. I am NOT going to allow people to remain a part of my life who don’t value me, who treat me poorly or who overall impact my happiness and well being in a negative way.
11. I am NOT going to complain about situations that I know I have the power to change and yet choose not to for whatever reason.
12. I am NOT going to gossip or in any other way speak negatively of other parents who are doing the best job they can do, just like the rest of us.
13. I am NOT going to convince myself that I don’t have time for friendships.
14. I am NOT going to miss out on the fun of life because I’m afraid of what others might think about my choices, my actions or even how I look.
15. I am NOT going to judge myself too harshly when I fail at any of numbers 1-14 or anything else in my life for that matter. I’m just going to remind myself to try and be better next time and move on.
Happy New Year to everyone and I hope that whatever you choose NOT to do this year will lead to a more joyful and peaceful 2019 for you and your family.
Looking for other ways to make the best of the New Year?
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Ashleigh says
This year is a little selfish year for me and I’m going to take better care of myself. And advocate stronger for my special needs son and not just do what everything thinks is best.
Kira Lewis says
It’s not being selfish. If you take care of you, then you are actually BETTER able to take care of everyone else. And you will also probably find yourself able to be a better advocate as well, because you’ll have more personal strength to trust in your own instincts. We mama’s know what is best for kids deep down no matter what anyone else says.
nicole says
Great idea and great information. I love your strength.
Yona Williams says
What a great list to make…I can relate to many of the statements mentioned here. I would say that am NOT going to let the small things get me down.
CourtneyLynne says
Oooo loving it!!! Sounds like your about to do some serious damage to 2016!!! Good luck with all the Do Nots!
Roxanne says
Self care is the hardest for moms to get, yet the most essential to be the healthiest mom! Each relationship deserves attention and we can’t give it our best if we aren’t feeling our best! Good luck with all your goals this year!
Meagan says
Love this list. Number 1 is definitely on my list as well – I need to start taking better care of myself! Thanks for sharing!
jill conyers says
Looks like you’re going to be much kinder to yourself this year. Now. Go read a book and have a cup of tea. Guilt free.
Brianna says
Sleep…yup…need it….ANd I am so bad at getting adequate sleep.
Kendra says
This is a great list of things NOT to do. I think I won’t do a few of them as well. I love your take on how to make your life better too. One good thing about New Year’s is everyone is feeling so fresh and new. I wish we did this in June too. 🙂
Heather McMechan says
I wish you were closer and we could meet for lunch. I’m feeling so many of these things going into 2016. It comes with age for sure. Inspiring!!
Kirsten says
What a great idea for a post! We all need to take care of our health, not gossip, and make time for friendships and spouses. I resolve to do all of those things this year too!
Erin says
I LOVE THIS POST. Seriously. And the one about your marriage being before kids… spot on. Love it.
Katie says
I love this & could have written it myself. Basically, this is the year that we’re giving up guilt!
Becca says
Sleep is so important! It often gets put on the back burner, but we cannot operate without it!
Margaret says
You and I have the same #1 for the New Year. Blessings to you and your family.
Dogvills says
What a great list. Numbers 1 to 3 are the best. Wishing you the best for 2016.
Kelly B. says
I love this spin on new years resolutions! I’ve decided that I’m not going to take on more than I can handle in terms of work this year because then I just end up tired and overworked!
kitab says
I put my kids before my marriage for so long that I had to make that effort to put us first and it’s tough but I manage. I will not work on both of my weekends. I try to work on Sat. mornings and then cut off so I can spend the rest of the weekend with the kids
Debra says
I absolutely love this! I think we give up so much of ourselves when we really don’t need to. Adding these to my resolutions!
Tanisha @ ThriftyNYmom says
I actually love looking at it from this point of view! I think I’m going to do a list of things not to do too, many of which will include the ones you just mentioned, especially the last one. Thanks for sharing!! 🙂
Jannine says
Neat approach to new years resolutions. You have a great list of things that will add value to your life and your family’s. I especially like #2 it’s so easy to get caught up with kids but what you said is so true. You and your husband choose to be with each other, kids are a huge part, but they leave and live their own lives.
Shelly says
I agree that we parents expect SO MUCH of ourselves. This holiday season I became ill, and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It forced me to rest, sleep, sleep-in, kick up my feet…. 🙂 I needed that more than anything.
Also, I have a friend that swears by your #2. I have to admit that my one year old is currently the king of the castle. We moved cross-country this summer so we don’t have any friends or family around to help; unfortunately, that means next to zero fun, alone time for my hubby and me. I try to remember that it’s a temporary circumstance. Our oldest will be fourteen soon, so I know these early are temporary.
Stacey says
I think #14 is so important! I know that I have skipped out on activities that I wanted to take part in because of what others would have thought. Thank goodness I left that fear decades ago. But it saddens me to think that I ever even thought that way. #2 is also super important.
Diedre says
This post was refreshing. I loved the things you weren’t going to do..like put your kids before your marriage. Great read.
Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says
I will ALWAYS put my kids first. Even when they are adults. My husband is replaceable – my kids are not.
Amber | In The Loop Blog says
Love this! I always thing of “to do”. Never thought do change existing habits and things NOT to do.
tp keane says
Must take a leaf out of your book. Thanks for sharing.
Barb @ A Life in Balance says
I love this! It is SO easy to beat ourselves up with the to do’s.
Holly says
What a fabulous list! If I were there I would give you a fist bump and say “right on, sister!”
Theres Just One Mommy says
Love the idea of a list of “not going to do’s”!
Hope you have a great 2015!
Kira Lewis says
Thanks so much! I hope you do too!!!
Kalyn Brooke | Creative Savings says
I love this list, Kira! I resonated with so many here. In fact, I had absolutely no energy today, and laid down for an hour nap, but I didn’t really enjoy it because I was so mad at myself for not plowing through and just getting things done. When really, I needed the self-care. Thank you for the reminder!
Kira Lewis says
You are so welcome! Yes, sometimes we need to realize that it is okay to just do nothing or to get some rest. It often pays off ten times whatever we might have thought we could better do with that time.