What is “Tech Shaming” exactly?
Last year, a group of sorority girls were caught on the jumbtron at an Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game taking selfies. The announcers immediately seized the opportunity to mock them and the entire internet enthusiastically joined in over the days that followed. A captured image of the girls making sexy pouts and sweet smiles for their cell phones spread and people everywhere condemned them for representing everything that is wrong with today’s youth.
I’m ashamed to admit, I jumped on that bandwagon.
I shared the photo on Facebook with some pretty unkind comments.
I judged them based on a single moment.
It wasn’t long after that I learned, like much of the world, that I had been wrong. Just moments before that incriminating photo was taken, a selfie contest had been promoted over the speakers at the stadium. It was all in good fun. The girls were playing around, maybe hoping to win a t-shirt or something.
Once the truth came out, in an attempt to make things right the TV station broadcasting the game and the Diamondbacks came together to offer the sorority girls free tickets to another game. The girls declined and instead asked for the tickets to be donated to a charity serving families who were the victims of domestic abuse. Looks like they weren’t quite so self-centered after-all.
We’re Telling a False Story
The sorority girls are far from the first occurrence of blatant tech shaming of today’s young people. It has almost become a sport on social media. I see memes shared almost daily that put down our kids for their technology use and that constantly imply that their lives, their character and of course their summers are far inferior to previous generations because they are too busy playing Minecraft, taking selfies or texting.
When we promote these messages, maybe we think we’re talking about other people’s kids and not our own in these situations. But no matter what we’re creating a narrative for an entire generation that they often don’t deserve.
Here’s yet another example. It took less than 24 hours for this photo snapped by someone not affiliated with this group of students to spread almost globally with 1,000’s of snarky comments holding it up as further proof that technology has ruined our youth.
Photo: Gijsbert van der Wal
Yes, that’s a famous Rembrandt painting on the wall and it does look like these kids are completely ignoring a masterpiece in favor of the phones. What those who see only this photo don’t know is that they had already done an observation of this painting and had been instructed to use the museum’s app to learn more about all the different artwork they had viewed that day.
We’re pretty quick to jump to conclusions aren’t we?
This could easily have been any of our kids on a school field trip today.
All Generations Have Different Childhoods
All this condemning of technology and declarations of the imminent destruction of childhood is usually followed by a non-stop flow of nostalgia for days gone by where Tom Sawyeresque kids roamed freely outside every minute of their waking lives and used nothing but their imaginations for fun and entertainment.
While I’m always up for a good dose of nostalgia, can we be real for a minute.
A lot of our rosy colored reminiscing focuses in on the very best parts of our childhoods, while ignoring all the other less than perfect realities that also existed. If you are raising a child today, then you were NOT brought up during some Little House on the Prairie era without technology.
You most likely watched your own fair share of television. I know I had the entire line-up of Saturday morning cartoons memorized!
Oh, and as far as video games, while we didn’t have an iPad or a Playstation, there was still Atari and other ancient gaming systems in households and pizza joints across America. I had the top score on Ms. Pac Man at our local arcade and could crush Donkey Kong and Q-Bert like nobody’s business. That didn’t happen in a mere 30 minutes of allocated screen time a day.
We’re Raising Good Kids
Was technology as big a part of our lives back then as it is today? No, it wasn’t.
However, I’m quite sure if we were to ask our own parents, they would have viewed MTV and Pong as comparable threats to the sanctity of our childhoods. It is a cliche that every older generation always believes the newer generation’s upbringing is somehow lacking or inferior to their own.
So, maybe we should be more careful about how much we romanticize our own childhoods and then use that as a comparison to our children’s. If we were to truly stop all our worrying and preaching and just look around at the children around us, our own and other people’s, I don’t think we would see a bunch of technology overloaded zombie munchkins.
For the most part, we would see children who are happy, healthy and well-loved.
Are they growing up in a different world? Absolutely.
Does technology pose challenges for us as their parents and for them? Absolutely.
Yet, why are we so determined to see all of the bad and none of the good?
Tech Shaming is A Cop-Out
Technology is a part of our kids lives and a part they embrace and enjoy. We need to stop implying that their childhoods are somehow less because of it. That isn’t fair to them. It is our job as parents to help them learn to use technology safely, responsibly and in moderation. Perhaps that is hard, because we ourselves are struggling to do the same. But that isn’t technology’s fault.
Last time I checked, all technology comes with an off button or the ability to remove the batteries or unplug it. We have control, it’s just whether or not we are choosing to use it. If we continue to tell this story where somehow technology, rather than we as parents, has all the power and that our children are suffering as a result, then is it really technology that is ruining childhood or is it is us?
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Other posts that might interest you:
Taking Control of Technology Before Technology Takes Over Your Family
The Worst Apps for Kids
What do you think is contributing to our culture of tech shaming?
Shweta Gupta says
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Mary Catherine says
So so so well-said! Thank you!!!
Brionna says
I couldn’t agree more with your views. Technology never played a big part in our lives back when we were kids; it was in its pretty nascent stages back then. Yes, technology does have its ups and downs – an extreme of anything is never beneficial. But then, it is no hidden fact that tech has made today’s kids smarter in a way. Like you said, our kids today are living in a different and entirely new world, and there is no point shaming them just because they seem to spend a considerable amount of time on their laptops and tablets. Take my kids, for instance; most evenings you’ll find them curled up on the couch with their tablets, playing virtual games like the ones here – http://www.neopets.com/games/pet/ – these are games in which they rear virtual pets of their own and take care of them, feed them on a daily basis and so on. So while I’m okay with them spending a fixed amount of time doing this, I am definitely not okay with them poring over their online pets for hours on end. Hence, we have an unsaid rule at home: half an hour to be spent online, followed by at least half an hour outdoors. I literally push them out of the house if they refuse to go! 🙂 I guess, you just need to find the correct balance between all that is available for kids in this day and age and their coping mechanism does the rest. But yes, technology does form an inevitable part of their lives and there is just no escaping this fact.
Lucy says
I think that the need to tech shame our kids comes from a place of fear and ignorance. Our kid will surpass us, and that’s exactly as it should be. Also, the opportunity to shame wonderful young women is something that is ingrained in our misogynistic society. We should challenge all “shaming” posts.
Kira Lewis says
I agree, shaming in any context is not necessary.
Teressa says
Yes!!! I won’t lie, there are moments where I want to strangle people — not ONLY from the younger generation, but all across the board — for staring at their phones through an in-person conversation and the like; and there is certainly an argument for the addictive qualities of technology…but overall, it’s not nearly as bad as some people think. Most of the time that I’m called out for being on my phone, I’m reading things that I find intellectually stimulating. I LOVE using my phone to learn more about history, science, people, places, and things. It’s an incredible tool, particularly for someone like me who has always struggled with asking people for help in learning something new. It affords me the opportunities to learn at my own pace, in a multitude of ways, while skipping the part where I avoid the situation all together for x-number of years because asking a stranger for help is a phobia I’ve yet to conquer. In fact, technology has helped me to get through conquering phobias by allowing me to reach out to others with similar issues, find common ground, and learn ways to move forward as a better, stronger, more complete and healthy version of myself. Thanks to technological advances during my early twenties, I was able to seek out and find help for psychological issues in a way that didn’t exist before. Without it, I don’t know that I’d be a married mother of two now. I’d very likely still be battling those same wars. And realistically speaking, even before the existence of smartphones, we all took selfies — I’d taken millions of poorly aimed “selfies” over the years with my friends and disposable cameras. It’s nothing new at all.
Lize says
I love this!
Tara says
So true. Plus, if kids aren’t familiar with technology they will be way behind others when it comes to learning and careers.
Erica says
Girl, this needed to be said. Thank you!
Kira Lewis says
Thank you so much! I was just really frustrated and I appreciate that other people felt the same way. You made my Monday!
Stephanie Pass says
I haven’t seen any of these posts griping about technology. We have the world at our fingertips. Who doesn’t like that? I grew up a lot like my own kids. Though, they can’t believe it, lol. My son actually asked me if black and white television was a thing when I was a kid. I told him I grew up playing Nintendo and computer adventure games and was on the internet by the time I was high school. My dad is a computer science guy, so as far back as I can remember back in the 80s we had the latest and greatest home computers. I just can’t imagine feeling that way. My kids still live without technology and play sports and go outside, but I’m glad they are so well versed in using it, too.
Michelle @ A Dish of Daily Life says
My kids are all teenagers and I wish they did not spend as much time with their devices as they do. However, they can hold a conversation, they don’t watch much tv, and they get good grades and play sports. So in reality, their online time probably isn’t too crazy. So I try not to worry so much about it. They’re way more tech savvy than I ever was. There is some benefits to all the technology too.
Reesa Lewandowski says
I couldn’t agree with you more. It’s all about censorship and what you allow.
Sandra @ A Dash of Sanity says
Agreed! A balance in life is always needed, but technology offers so many advantages to kids.
April says
Great post and right on the money. It’s up to “US” as parents to say when, and how much our children use technology. All things in moderation has always been my motto, and one I tried to instill in my kids as well as they grew up.
Kristin @ MOMentous Moms says
I think this is fantastic. I agree with you that a lot of people think romanticize their childhood. Yes technology might now have been in our faces 24/7 like it can be now but you are 100% correct use the off button. We have tech time bc we feel that it is very important for our daughter to learn how technology works. You as the parent need to set the boundaries and stick with them. Too many parents are afraid to say no to their kids. (Personal opinion, don’t want to cause any drama :))
Britni says
Exactly! It’s all about monitoring your kid’s activities.
Emily says
great perspective… Parents just need to monitor and step up and be parents to say NO sometimes… it’s not really technology ruining kids… its parents who can’t say no ;o)
Debra says
Interesting article!
Emily @ Love, Pasta and a Tool Belt says
Good post!! Monitoring technology but not over the top is something we think about a lot for when we have kids!
Yvonne [Tried and Tasty] says
Great tips, thanks for sharing!
Carisa Smith says
I love how I can use technology to aid my daughters education. I think its an amazing tool! I think we need to teach our kids how to use it and be good examples ourselves of using it properly! I for one, love how technology blesses my life (although, sometimes it can be a bit distracting)!!
Jillian says
Good points are raised here; all things in moderation, right? 😉
Shauna Smart says
I agree with a lot of the points that you made. We as parents, can help our kids to use technology as a tool. It’s all about teaching them how to use it!
Margaret says
Thank you for writing this…technology is not going anywhere and are kids need to know how to use it. Yes they need to find a good balance but I worry that I haven’t exposed my son to the computer enough. He’s in first grade and they need to know how to use the computer.
Mega C Cooks says
Good article! I think that it is great to expose children to limited amounts of technology. There are many great learning tools now available for children.
Meagan says
I agree with many of the comments above that TV and video games are ok in moderation. I think there are many great educational apps and games that help with critical thinking skills, but at our center, we find that many of the kids who spend too much time playing video games and watching TV have poor gross and fine motor skills, which ultimately affects their learning capabilities in school. I do like that we are implementing more technologies in schools and encouraging our kids to be creative when it comes to what is offered on electronic devices as long as we still make time for outdoor activities. Technology can be wonderful and offers so many great tools and resources.
Nicole Keener says
My daughter started using the laptop when she was too all educational things. She is gifted and got bored really easy with toys for her age. No regrets here.
Kallee says
Great thoughts. Anything can be “bad” if it is overused and not controlled. We all have the choice of how much technology takes over our lives.
Melanie says
Parents need to set better groundrules with technology, just like other things! Enjoyed this article.
Stephanie Keeping says
I think technology is fine as it’s controlled. It can be a great educational tool!
jamie says
Great article!
Britney says
I love this! I feel like everyone looks down on it but my little guy knows his way around our phones and IPad. I think that with a little bit of monitoring on time used that they can be very beneficial to kids because this is a time when they’re going to grow up with it!
Kim Anderson says
Amen. I would just leave that but then you might think I’m a spam comment dropper. Good grief, I’m so tired of feeling awkward at Target as a manage to survive my grocery shopping with my 3 year old playing Sesame Street games on his Leap Pad in the shopping cart. I’m always waiting for my Pediatrician to jump out from the toilet paper isle and yell “AH HA! This counts toward your 2 hours of screen time missy! Put it on the clock!”
This is super funny and I’m happy you wrote it. It’s so nice to have someone else remember the days of Nintendo’s for hours at a time (I used to leave frustration bite marks on my controller from when Mario would fall in the fire pit…again…) TGIF on Friday Nights, Saturday morning cartoons, giga-pets, the little hand held racing games or solitaire games. We had the same stuff, nobody told our parents to turn it off and I turned out okay. Of course it should be consumed in moderation. Like you said, it is we the parents who are ultimately accountable and I’m okay with that.